THE QUEENHATERS - I Hate the Bloody Queen

A band so punk they only had one song. And what a song it was. A song criticizing the Falkland War, a song against figure heads, a song about scoring drugs - it's all there. A song with so much brit-punk attitude that it could have only come from our mighty 'piss-taking' Canadian kings of comedy, SCTV. As with my previous SCTV post, this segment had a profound impact in my pathetically twisted pubescent past. I remember acting out this skit (ON CAMERA) with my like-minded friend and thinking we were doing something truly cool - nay, important.

The Queenhaters (or incorrectly, The Queen Haters) were featured one time only (03/18/83) on a regular segment known as 'Mel's Rock Pile'. Clued-out and unhip, Mel Slirrup hosted a teen popular music show akin to American Bandstand or Top of the Pops. His audience was expecting top 40 bubble gum when Mel proudly announces that they would have a special feature on punk music and introduces the Queenhaters. The band was fronted by Martin Short who plays an angry coked-up British Punk quite convincingly. Joe Flaherty on bass and Eugene Levy (who also plays Mel) and Andrea Martin on guitar add full-on stage presence. John Candy, the bands drummer, works his magic with a demure intensity that only today's finest Ritalin could provide. It's a sight to behold and in my opinion one of the finer moments in Canadian comedy and strangely enough Punk music. The song is pretty cool and actually has an ounce of skewed Canadian street cred. It has been covered - there is actually version by Mudhoney on 'Oh Canaduh! 2', a tribute to Canadian punk disc. Too bad that it is much slower and nowhere near as fun... and slightly misnamed.

There are even some rumors floating around the net on exactly who wrote the music for the segment. Here is a comment found at one punk site speaking one strong possibility:

'Sometime in late 1982 about six months before The Queen Haters episode aired, Mike Lion of The Young Lions was going around outside the Domino Club on the Toronto scene telling everybody that The Young Lions had been taped as guests on SCTV. All we punks were telling him he was full of S*#t because SCTV only ever took the biggest acts such as The Tubes or The Plasmatics. Well, Mike changed his story and said that The Young Lions had really just taped some music for SCTV, and we all told him he was full of s*$t again. Six months went by, SCTV aired it's Queen Haters episode, and we all ate our words. But The Queen Haters didn't sound quite like The Young Lions, so we all had our doubts and asked Mike for confirmation. But he merely smirked. So the question remains. Were The Queen Haters really The Young Lions?'

And that was the last we were to hear from that magical band. Or was it? According to the SCTV homepage, in a later SCTV show, the "It's a Wonderful Film" sketch (12/20/83), a character is listening to the radio playing the unlikely collaboration of extravagant lounge singer Jackie Rogers, Jr. (also played by Short) and The Queenhaters. I've found a new mission in life, feck a girlfriend, I need that song!